Hello, world! Welcome to my open journal!

Crazy World of Betrayal Trauma

I’m going with Annie! Annie represents anyone who has been betrayed in an intimate relationship.  Anyone who has experienced any type of abuse in their relationship.  Anyone who feels confused by their relationship and is searching to figure out what’s going on. Anyone who wants to understand their pain. Anyone who wants to navigate this crazy world of betrayal trauma.  Anyone who wants to heal from their betrayal trauma.  Anyone who wants a place to hear their story and not feel alone and judged. Anyone who found themselves part of this stupid club with a sexually addicted spouse.

I decided to start this blog to chronicle the journey to untangle myself from emotional, spiritual, and sexual abuse from the hand of a partner that I suspect has one or all of the following: ADHD, High Functioning Autism, and or narcissism.  

I’ve accepted that the root of the abuse doesn’t matter as much as the fact it was manifested through unhealthy behaviors.   I tried for over a decade to understand it to no avail.  That no longer matters to me because he was not willing to even consider that he has a problem and didn’t take the steps necessary to even attempt to address it.

So now I focus on unpacking what happened to me and accept it all without trying to understand why or the cause from his side.  I can’t do that part on my own and will direct my energy on the things I can control.

Narcissistic Traits

This blog will resonate with anyone dealing with any type of toxic partner this includes emotional abusive men who are addicted to porn or sex, men who are on the autism spectrum or with ADHD as well as those who narcissistic traits. I 

This is an anonymous blog as of now because I’m using it as a free open journal to express my feelings and everything that I’m going through and that I’ve been going through probably for the past decade or more.   

 I’ve held my emotions and voice for so long that my throat literally hurts all the time.  The stress and pressure is reaching my shoulders and neck because I’ve been withholding so much information, withholding my expression, withholding my feelings, needs, and desires to the point of combustion.   Over the years I haven’t been able to express myself. 

Now I’m bringing it all out!  Using voice to text to express my thoughts. I want to speak freely without any fears.  I’m going to let it rip and enjoy the catharsis that comes with this process.  

Join me on this journey as I process this awful hand that I was dealt.  May we all move beyond our trauma to heal and thrive.